


SURPRIIIIIISEEEEooooooOOOHHHH MY GOD

by Doctor_Freaking_Phil



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Also Peter and Morgan are best friends/ siblings, Attempt at Humor, Birthday, Happy Ending, Happy is Not Happy, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, Kidnapping, Surprise Party, Tony and Pepper adopted Peter cuz why not, Yes and no?, eeeeeek, kind of?, pun not intended
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-08-14 06:36:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20187907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Freaking_Phil/pseuds/Doctor_Freaking_Phil
Summary: Let's just say Tony had an unusual idea to celebrate Peter's 16th birthday. How you may ask? Kidnapping and scaring the crap out of him! (Crazy, right?!) Let's just say things don't go as planned and Happy is not too happy.Ooooor the author thought that she was writing to many depressing fics so why not add this one!





	SURPRIIIIIISEEEEooooooOOOHHHH MY GOD

**Author's Note:**

> I have noooooo idea this idea just randomly pooped up in my head

"Ok so let me get this straight," Happy started." You want me to kidnap your kid for his surprise birthday party?"

"Yep," Tony shook his head. "So here's the plan. I told him to walk home from school so you can grab him from an alleyway and shove him into this van I got for today. Also make your voice, I don't know, higher? Just make it unrecognizable."

"Doesn't this seem a little bit messed up?"

"Yep it totally is, but it's ok since I'm getting him back for putting a whole ass llama on my bed. It took a MASSIVE shit in my pillow."

"Whatever you say. Should I pick Morgan up right now?"

"Nope, Pepper's going to pick her up after she gets the cake."

"Alright then, so what exactly do I do when he gets here?"

"I don't know, I didn't think of that. Stick him in the storage roomI guess?"

"Ok, anything else?"

"Here take this." Tony threw a ski mask to him. "Cover your face so he doesn't know it's you. Also, if things don't go as planned, go plan b."

"What's plan b?"

"Here, take this." Tony handed him a small bottle of chloroform.

"Tony, you want me to drug your kid?"

"Can we not use the word drug? How about forcefully put to sleep or knock out?"

*caugh caugh* "Drug."

"What ever it takes." Tony shrugged.

"Are you sure this is completely legal?"

"I think?"

"TONY I REFUSE TO GO TO COURT AGAIN FOR ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR DUMB ASS PRANKS!"

"I'm sure it's fine. It's technically not kidnapping if it's your guardian, right?"

"Oh God here we go again."

~

~ONE HOUR LATER~ 

"Alright Tony, I'm in the alleyway like you asked," Happy spoke into the phone.

"Good. He should be passing by any minute now- no Morgan you can't have cake yet sweetie, we have to wait for Peter." Tony said through the line. "Why? Because it's Petey's birthday! I know it looks good but you gotta resist!"

"I think I see him. Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Suuuuuuuuuureee..."

"Alright here goes nothing," Happy said as he hung up and put the ski mask on.

Happy grabbed Peter's arm and yanked him into the alley as the boy yelped. He quickly dragged him to the van as he squirmed and screamed for help.

"Be quiet or you'll regret it!" Happy said in a really high pitched voice. 

"Minnie mouse it that you?" Peter said as he elbowed Happy's gut and started running off. 

"Guess it's plan b," Happy wheeze and started running after him. Before Peter could reach the end of the alley, he was yanked back words and Happy placed a cloth drenched in chloroform over the boy's mouth and nose. Peter held his breath for as long as possible, but fell limp after his lungs gave in to breathing in the chemical.

"That... was the most messed up thing... I have had to do in my life," Happy said to himself and he carried Peter bridal style into the the back of the van.

The thing is, Happy was so busy getting Peter into the van that he didn't notice people recording and calling the police.

~

~BACK AT THE COMPOUND~

Peter woke up dazed and confused. He was laying on the floor of a dark room. Hold up, weird Minnie mouse guy, cloth, van... shit. 

"Hello?" Peter said quietly. But something was off. He wasn't tied up so his kidnapper was either dumb, or he was in a really dark cell. Or both.

The door started rattling as a voice came through the door. He felt around and touched something which seemed to be a bat. Perfect.

He slowly tiptoed to the rattling noise and found a door and hid beside it. As the door opened, Peter hit the kidnapper with the bat and he fell in a heap.

Peter sprinted over the man and out the door only to be surprised with confetti and his whole family standing on front of him.

"SURPRIIIIIISEEEEeeee-OH MY GOD, HAPPY!" Everyone yelled. Pepper ran over to the unconscious man while Tony recorded the whole thing while laughing his head off. 

"Happy birthday, Petey!" Morgan gave Peter's leg a hug. "Now can we have cake, daddy?"

"DAD IS HAPPY OK?" Peter looked back at him. 

"Yeah he's fine," Tony laughed. "You did the right thing I guess..."

~

~AN HOUR LATER~

"TONY I TOLD YOU THIS WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!" Happy yelled.

"Meeeh you're fine," Tony shrugged. "Also technically you didn't say that so-"

"Tony I swear to God if this day gets any worse I will-" *aGgReSsIvE kNoCkInG*

"FBI OPEN UP! WE SEE YOUR CAN OUT THERE. COME OUT SLOWLY WITH YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM."

"Whoops." Tony smirked.

"ANTHONY-"

**Author's Note:**

> IM CRINGING RIGHT NOW I HONASTLY DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD KEEP IT


End file.
